POEM

something about windows, or cigarettes, or something

i am talking about you

i tell them that you were wearing a white dress

you say you were wearing a light blue dress

i say "i guess i don't remember"

i throw my cigarette out the window and go to the bathroom

we stared out the window, in the morning, in the sun

i passed you the cigarette

you pointed at someone walking by and said "look at that idiot"

you passed me the cigarette

i pointed at someone walking by and said "look at that asshole"

i passed you the cigarette

you pointed at someone walking by and said "fuck him"

i nodded and you kissed me hard on the mouth

you don't smoke the same brand as me anymore

i smoke marlboro reds and you smoke camel lights

i am trying not to attribute deep meaning to this

we used to pile quarters and singles together 

to buy cigarettes from casinos, $5 a pack, $40 a carton

you would smoke them in secret from me

you screamed "YOLO" when i caught you

i got angry, because i was drunk, you were also drunk

you threw a chair at me and i punched a wall

we were in the same dorm

i saw you outside while we were both outside smoking

you asked if i wanted to drink beer and listen to records

we climbed out onto the roof of the adjoining building

we chain smoked and drank quickly

beer dribbling down our chins

you look at me and say "it's over, right?"

i nod yes

you shrug

we are in our bed

we are in our apartment

you say "three years is enough, right?"

i say yes

i light a cigarette

you say "we don't smoke in here"

i say "what do you mean"

you smiled at me and opened the window

i smiled at you and put the towel by the door

you smiled at me and picked up a lighter

i smiled at you and picked up an almost empty can of budweiser

we both inhaled deeply