The first one, the one that Molly liked so much, was the easiest. Tim had been playing in bands for almost ten years, so he figured he had a great song -- at least one great song -- in him, somewhere. That song, "Should Have", got written all at once. The melody had come to him while he was washing dishes. He was listening to the radio -- talk radio, NPR, "Car Talk" -- and started singing the melody to himself. He remembered watching an interview with Paul McCartney as a teenager. Paul McCartney said that the melody for "Yesterday" came to him in a dream. Tim imagined it wasn't so different than the melody of "Should Have" coming to him while scrubbing pasta sauce out of a plastic bowl. He recorded all the parts himself, in his bedroom, on his laptop. Tim's friends told him that they liked it, so he put a full band together. Tim McConnell and the Angels. The Angels were three guys he went to college with. George Friedman, who played guitar, was his freshman roommate. Tim tried to convince him to go by George Freedom, but George wouldn't do it. He wouldn't answer to George Washington, either, to Tim's lasting disappointment. Jon Ayerson played drums and Ryan Schnieder played bass. They all lived on the same floor their sophomore year of college. Jon and Ryan both sold marijuana. Tim recorded some more songs -- "Robbers", "Whole New Story", "Brooklyn, New York". A few people on the internet told Tim that they liked the songs. Jon told Tim that he heard "Should Have" at a "random party in Manhattan. "
Their first show, ("Our first real show," Tim would say later,) was in the basement of someone's apartment in Fort Greene. They opened. After the set, Tim stood in a corner, drinking a beer and breathing heavily. A sixteen year old boy told him, "Your guitar is sweet." Tim finished his beer and went into the backyard. He milled around, looking for anyone that he might know. His friend Scott was there. Scott and Tim weren't particularly close, but they had been to a few of the same parties and were friendly. Scott patted him on the shoulder. "Good show dude," he said, "It sounded good." Tim thanked him. Scott was with three girls. The girl in the center was beautiful. She had medium length black hair, cut into bangs, (She would tell him later that medium was "too vague". She would say, "My hair is not medium length. It's a bob. It's short, if anything,") and big, unblinking green eyes. Tim thought she looked like a beautiful alien. She was wearing black leather shorts and a black sleeveless shirt. She made continuous eye contact with Tim while Scott talked. Tim looked at her and said, "I'm Tim." She said, "I'm Molly."
The second single was called "Wildcat". Tim played it for Molly first. They were on the subway, going to a party at Scott's house. Tim passed Molly his phone with headphones plugged in. He watched her face as she listened to it. She smiled during the first chorus and nodded while smiling during the outro.
She took out the headphones and said, "I like it a lot."
Tim said nervously, "Do you really like it?"
Molly told him three things that she liked about it, (1. "I like the melody during the chorus, it's really catchy," 2. "Your voice sounds great. I really like your voice." 3. "The ending rocks.")
Tim nodded, satisfied. "I want to send it around, you know, to blogs and shit. I was thinking maybe we could cultivate buzz." He laughed. "Or something."
Molly said she thought that sounded good. The next day, Tim emailed "Wildcat" to eight music blogs and four lifestyle blogs. Two music blogs emailed back saying that they liked it and would write about it once it was "officially released". Molly told Tim that she was going home for the weekend, to Kansas City, Missouri. He spent that night looking through all of her pictures on Facebook. When Molly was younger, she dated a guy who was in the military. Tim didn't know anyone in the military, except for his younger cousin, who was a mechanic in the Navy. Tim couldn't imagine being in the military. It seemed as big and baffling as a black hole.
The third single was called "Freckle". It was about a freckle that was directly above Molly's belly button. Tim found himself struggling to not tell people about Molly's body. Once, he told Jon that Molly had "a really nice body" and Jon had nodded and said, enthusiastically, "Molly is banging as fuck." Tim didn't talk about her body after that. After a night of enthusiastic sex, Tim asked Molly about the man in the military. Molly told him that the man in the military was her ex husband.
"Ex husband," Tim said, "You're twenty two and you have an ex husband? Shit."
Molly said that they didn't speak anymore. She told him that she would explain why they had broken up if Tim wanted.
Tim said, "It's not my business. Unless you want to tell me."
Tim wanted very badly to know why they had broken up. Molly smiled, kissed him and did not tell him. This was one of the most disconcerting things Molly had told him -- he had a list.
THE TOP FIVE MOST DISCONCERTING THINGS MOLLY HAS TOLD ME
(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
1. Used to be married. Ex husband was/is in the Marines. Could possibly kill me.
2. Said, "I don't have any feelings, at all." Told me, "People who have feelings freak me out." I have feelings (?) [seems alarming]
3. While waiting in line to pay for food at deli, said, "Look at that fucking dog." There was no dog. I said, "What dog?" and she made a confused facial expression. Later told me that she "thinks [she] sometimes 'sees things'."
4. After drinking heavily for six consecutive hours, told me that she is "possibly possessed" and that she "used to be a Satanist". I was also drunk, may have misheard or misunderstood.
5. Does not like horror movies, possibly related to number 4.
Molly felt lukewarm about "Freckle".
"It's good. You know I love your music," she said, "It just feels weird having a song be about me.
"I mean, it isn't obviously about you. Only you and I know that it's about you."
"Yeah."
After the third single, Tim McConnell and the Angels put out a four song EP called Your Heart Has A Twitter Account (It Is Verified). It received seven positive reviews, four mixed reviews and two negative reviews. One review said, "The record is tonally unclear -- but the melodies are clearly catchy and the feel is generally rocking." Another review was titled "I Have A Twitter Account (And I'm Desperate For Validation)". Molly's older sister Stella visited New York the same night as the record release party. Stella and Tim got stoned and watched four Beyonce videos in silence while waiting for Molly to get dressed. At the party, in a warehouse in Bushwick, Stella chain smoked cigarettes and told Tim about when Molly read her diary when they were in elementary school. Molly and Tim both drank too much tequila and found a pile of seven fur coats. They each put on a fur coat and walked outside. Tim spilled tequila on his. Stella woke them up two hours later, slumped against the side of the building in fur coats, Molly's head on his shoulder.
"You look so peaceful, I'm sorry. People need their coats back and we have to leave."
Molly looked up at Stella and smiled.
"I'm in love with this man," she said.
Stella laughed and said, "What?"
Tim grinned and said, "I love you too."
The first tour came a week after Molly and Tim decided to move in together. ("My lease was up and Molly had a month left on hers, so that was the best possible time," he explained later.) The newest single, the fourth, "What We Talk About", was mildly popular. Tim and George worked together to book a four week long tour, playing twenty three shows in twenty eight days.
"Wow," Molly said, "That's a lot. Baby, you're going to be exhausted."
"Yeah," Tim said, "But it's good. Baby, this is my passion. This is my life. Going on a tour like this is what I have been working for since I was fourteen years old."
Molly laughed. Tim had noticed that Molly often thought he was joking when he was being earnest. They had found a studio apartment in Sunset Park that was well sized enough for both of them. Molly suggested they get a cat and Tim said okay.
"I like cats," Tim said.
"I always had a lot of cats growing up. I miss my cats."
"What happened to them?
"I mean, they died. Cats don't live forever."
Tim laughed. They went to a dollar store, an antiques store and Ikea and filled their current apartments with new things to be moved in to the new apartment. While on tour, Tim called Molly almost every night.
They named the cat Curly. "After the guy from the Three Stooges," Tim told friends. "After the guy from 'Oklahoma!'," Molly told friends. Curly spent most of his time staring mournfully out the window.
"I think we have a suicidal cat," Molly said one morning.
"Massively depressed cat," Tim said.
"Manic depressive cat," Molly said.
"Sad cat screaming in agony," Tim said.
"Existentially fucked cat," Molly said.
"I love you," Tim said.
"I love you," Molly said.
The fifth single, "Red Lipstick", was called "The Summer Jam of The Year" by one semi-prominent music blog. The music video, hastily put together by Tim and George over the course of one weekend, got 15,000 views on YouTube. Tim's growing frustration with Jon, ("He doesn't take the drumming seriously enough," he told anyone who asked,) was resolved when he kicked Jon out. He replaced Jon with a thirty two year old named Mark Iannuci. Mark had a business card which described him as a "Drummer and Veteran of the Scene".
"Mark seems kind of shitty," Molly said.
Tim shrugged. "He's an awesome drummer," he said.
Curly sat on top of a tall bookcase and stared at the ground.
"Hey," Molly said, "How are we doing on rent? We were a couple days late last month and Oscar gave me a hard time about it."
"I think we'll be okay. I only need one hundred, maybe one hundred fifty for my half."
"Jesus. The rent is due tomorrow. Where are you going to get the money?"
"I'm going to borrow it from the band account."
"Babe, maybe you need to think about getting a day job. Just until your next tour or something."
Tim sighed. "I don't have time right now for a day job. I need to spend my days writing songs and doing promotion and shit. I'm sorry. I know it's been a little tight the last couple months, but things are going really well. It's going to turn around really soon, I think."
Molly nodded. "Okay," she said.
The first full length album, America!!!!!!!!!!!!, came out the day after Tim's twenty fourth birthday. Molly got him a watch, a hat and two sweaters. A well known music blog called America!!!!!!!!!!!! "one of the worst albums I have ever heard." Another website said, "Tim McConnell's single 'Red Lipstick' is still catchy and beautiful. It is also the only decent thing on America!!!!!!!!!!!! , an otherwise boring and repetitive album. Put 'Red Lipstick' and his earlier song, 'Should Have', on a mix and leave it at that."
Ryan Schneider quit the band, telling Tim that he "couldn't take it anymore." Mark the drummer said that his roommate, Mike O'Neal, was "a hell of a bass player," and George said that Mike was "a really nice guy," so Tim hired him. Molly told him that he needed to tour again, ("You need to reinforce your fanbase," she said,) but Tim couldn't seem to find the motivation to book a tour. He got a job at a Starbucks.
"I know," he said, shrugging.
"I've just been staring out the window. I'm getting to be like the damn cat," he said to Molly on the phone. "How's your mother?"
"The doctor says she has Alzheimer's. She called the fire department because she thought she saw a group of people trapped on the roof of the building across the street. When they showed up, there wasn't anyone on the roof, of course, so they called fucking EMTs. They wanted to put her in a fucking psych ward."
"Jesus."
"Yeah. I took away her cigarettes and lighters, I was worried she'd light herself on fire. Now I am smoking cigarettes. I'm fucking smoking."
Tim whistled. "Where is she now?"
"At home, she's in the bedroom. I'm in the kitchen. I don't know what to do. Someone has to watch her at all times, obviously."
"Did the doctor say that?"
"No, Tim, I'm saying that. She can't be doing shit like this."
"Oh. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I have no idea what to do. I have to go, I love you."
"Love you too," Tim said.
Mark and Mike quit the band, which Tim realized was inevitable. George told Tim that he was "in it to the end," but after a few months without a new rhythm section he told Tim, "Just call me when you're ready, or whatever." Tim got promoted to assistant manager at Starbucks. Occasionally, he played an acoustic set at a coffee shop or in a park.
"It's so depressing," he told Molly.
"I'm sorry baby," Molly said.
The first single was called "Anagrams". Tim wrote the melody while he was singing in the shower. He jumped out of the shower with shampoo clinging to his hair. He ran to the living room and sat on the couch. He wiped his wet hands on the corduroy and picked up his guitar. He wrote the chords in one sitting. The band was called Vomit Heroes. Jason Michaels, a coworker at Starbucks, played bass. Rachel Stevens played drums -- Tim met her at a show her previous band had played. Tim had read that trios were "in", (He would later say, laughing, "It's only a trio because three is easier to deal with than four,") and between his and Rachel's contacts they were able to book shows right away.
At the first show, in a repurposed vacant lot in Queens, they played to fifty bored teenagers. Jason passed around a flask of gin in between songs. George Friedman came with his fiancee, Linda, ("This is woman is going to be my wife," George said enthusiastically,) and her sister, Emma. Emma was wearing a red polo shirt and black jeans. She had blonde hair and green eyes.
"Sounded great," George said.
"I loved the second song, it was really awesome," Linda said.
"Your guitar is sweet," Emma said.
"Thanks guys," Tim said. He wiped sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.
Tim said, "Do you guys want to come over to my place and have a couple beers?"
"No, not tonight," George said, "Linda and I have to meet wedding planners tomorrow morning."
"Which is going to be a fucking nightmare," Linda said, laughing, "I'd rather drink some beers with you."
"We'd come over but it would be even worse tomorrow if we were hungover," George said, grinning. He kissed Linda on the cheek and she squealed.
"I have work in the morning," Emma said, "But it was nice to meet you."
Tim hugged them goodbye and rode the subway home.
He went into the kitchen and poured a can of black beans into a pot, which he put on a low simmer. He opened the refrigerator and took out a beer. He opened the beer and drank from it slowly while chopping vegetables -- spinach, kale, onions. He put the vegetables in a cast iron skillet with a half cup of water and covered it. After a few minutes of cooking, he put a tortilla in a second pan with cheese on it, turned the heat to medium and covered it with another, larger pan. Once the cheese had started to melt, he uncovered it, poured the beans and vegetables into the tortilla and folded it, flipping it like an omelette every minute. He held the skillet at an acute angle to a plate, shaking it until the quesadilla fell onto the plate. He sliced it into three sections and opened a second beer, which he poured into a glass. He took the plate and the glass and sat on the couch, eating and drinking mechanically while watching television. He finished the quesadilla and wiped his mouth with his hand, pushing the plate back on the coffee table. He leaned back, took a long sip of beer and put the glass back down onto the table. Curly pulled his head out of the oven and walked over to where Tim was sitting on the couch, leapt into his arms and gently kneaded his claws against the soft, tender flesh of Tim's arm.
