10:41pm preparing to livetweet 'the hobbit' by smoking pot and drinking beer
10:41pm took half a bar of xanax
10:42pm thought 'fuck, i hope gandalf is in this a lot' while staring at wall in silence
10:43pm wish i was watching in 3D, feel like i am 'making a huge mistake'
10:46pm watching with subtitles 'just in case'
10:47pm trying to understand....how is this movie is 2hr49min............
10:49pm have thought 'you assholes' ~10-15 times already, directed at no one in particular
10:51pm the hobbit seems similar to 'skyrim'
10:51pm i don't care abt this...
10:55pm elijah wood's skin looks so smooth......
10:56pm everyone has weird skin
10:59pm wait...gandalf is also dumbledore...(?) y/n i'm sorry i don't remember idk...(embarassed)
11:01pm most JRPGs have a better intro than this. "a wizard invites you on a quest. y/n?"
11:04pm yo am i supposed to remember the dwarves names...i don't wanna do that, idk, seems too hard
11:09pm what the fuck are these dwarfs doing...juggling and singing and shit...what the fuck is this
11:11pm 'thorin oakenshield' is the name of the main dwarf he is 'serious' / 'badass' / 'brave' etc
11:14pm do you think....do you think these dwarves look 'cool' / 'fashionable'...in 'dwarven society'????
11:14pm i read 'the hobbit' when i was ~10yrs old, pretty sure it was not like this
11:15pm i thought the dwarves wanted the dragon's gold bc...'dragon's gold'....
11:22pm feels like ~80% of the dwarves are peaking on MDMA
11:26pm bilbo screaming 'i'm going on an adventure' while running down a mountain into the woods
11:31pm everyone is afraid of orcs
11:31pm scene of orcs fighting dwarves...thinking abt warcraft or like...magic the gathering maybe
11:32pm pale Orc is sweet
11:32pm trying to understand within myself what i 'need' from this movie (idk)
11:34pm just told my girlfriend i couldn't talk because 'i have to focus on the hobbit'
11:35pm thought 'this exposition doesn't matter' and then 'bring on the orcs'
11:36pm bilbo just implied gandalf is a 'bad wizard', thought to myself 'gandalf is not dumbledore'
11:43pm wondering if hobbits ever masturbate
11:46pm serious dwarf said 'i don't need their advice' while refusing help from elves, gandalf stormed off
11:47pm disgusting shit is happening.........
11:49pm still unsure if the hobbit is a comedy or not
11:52pm can't stop thinking abt how funny it must've been to film the hobbit
11:53pm gandalf said [something] in an 'intense / triumphant' tone of voice & slammed his staff into the ground, immediately killing all the giants
11:55pm repeatedly thinking the words 'gnarled staff' and 'black mage'
11:58pm the other wizard has green mold on his face
12:03am this scene reminds me of star wars for no concrete / explainable reason
12:06am gandalf hid behind a medium sized rock and yelled 'this way you fools!!!!!!!'
12:09am shifted my position, am now lying on my back with my ipad leaning against my thighs (legs are bent)
12:14am want to watch a youtube video of gandalf and lord elrond playing magic the gathering
12:17am pale Orc is cool [did i tweet this already...]
12:18am these dwarves are mad short
12:20am seems insane that cate blanchett is in this
12:22am gandalf seems like he is high on cocaine
12:23am feel like gandalf is the only one who has 'heard of tumblr'...maybe saruman has a tumblr but never logs in to it
12:38am haven't been paying attention, thought 'i don't care what happens to these hobbits'
12:40am this feels like a 'thriller for 10yr olds'
12:42am can't believe i am still watching the hobbit
12:48am gollum has pretty eyes
12:55am keep imagining bilbo with a lightsaber
12:56am keep imagining gandalf as obi wan
12:57am keep imagining gollum as emperor palpatine but shitty
12:58am 'what do i have in my pockets' is not a riddle
1:08am worried abt gollum
1:11am bilbo said 'i miss my books' in front of a sunset while triumphant music played
1:14am gandalf just kissed a butterfly....
1:16am imagining gandalf looking at the screen, winking & saying 'come back for Part 2!!' while laughing 'maniacally' as 'looney tunes' music plays
1:17am feel like gandalf would be 'lame' / 'shitty' / 'cheap' etc in a game of 'magic the gathering'
1:18am ppl are screaming 'nooooo'
1:21am giant birds are 'saving the day'
1:25am overheard someone in the movie say 'i'm sorry i doubted you' while i checked instagram
1:28am okay it is over
1:30am want to eat a burrito / feel like i remember someone saying 'drink his blood' as a non-sequitur
1:42am would not watch 'the hobbit' again but i would play it if it was a jrpg for snes
No comments:
Post a Comment