party live blog

10:12pm  preparing to party, feel catatonic

10:14-10:21pm  playing candy crush

10:23pm  remembered having two 10mg Adderall in my bag, crushed and snorted with Lydia, feel more prepared to party

10:28pm  listening to the gza album ‘liquid swords’ to get pumped while getting dressed

10:32pm  wearing black wu tang clan tank top, black jeans, black boots, black sweater, denim hat, feel relatively decent about the way i look, idk

10:46pm  felt briefly but severely depressed about “the state of my hair”, felt like my hair is ‘too geometric’ (?)

10:53-11:01pm  shaving

11:02-11:07pm  ‘futzing’ with my hair, felt deep self loathing while thinking ‘vain’ and ‘you asshole’ repeatedly

11:15pm  listening to black flag while lydia is in the bathroom, i think she’s pooping

11:21-11:26pm  smoking

11:34pm  walking to party

11:57pm  this party seems like ‘the epitome of my party experience’ bc one room is too crowded and i don’t know anyone and i’m not drunk enough to be in the other room

12:03am  people are dancing to the song that is like ‘from the window…to the wall…till the sweat runs down my balls’, feel extremely uncomfortable / sober

12:06am  overheard at party: 'that was the first time I have ever said the word 'sweet' in my life'

12:15am  widespread panic at party bc room w everyone's coats is locked

12:28am  so many haircuts...at this party...

12:32am  someone just drunkenly told lydia 'you have the vibe...of a parrot...'

12:38am  someone in the kitchen is screaming 'this is not fun!!! I...am...not...having...fun!!!'

12:40am  seems like everyone is screaming in the manner of when someone blows out birthday candles, host of party (who i don’t know) made eye contact with me and shook her head, tried to make a sympathetic facial expression

12:41am  thought 'chaos', 'dystopia', 'worse than death'

12:43-12:58am  smoking

1:01am  jesus

1:07am  'what have you been up to?'

'you know...life.'

1:10am  vaguely aware of ~7-9ppl here that I have met ~1-2 times before, don't know there names / who they are 

1:11am  dude named clay is here, have been to two parties at his house with paul, laughing, thought 'small fucking world' nonhumorously

1:13am there's a girl here who looks like she is 15, concerned 

1:15am young girl just screamed 'prom pic!!!' while someone took her picture...worried...

1:17am  I'm drunk lol

1:19am  lily is screaming 'I want a knife!!' just give me a knife!!! I want a knife!!!'

1:20am  vaguely concerned that my friends are at the point where they drunkenly want knives...

1:28am  lily screamed 'any drugs?' and some girl said earnestly 'do you want drugs because you are drunk?'

1:34am  lily just told me that the aforementioned girl earlier asked her 'why are you getting so drunk?'

1:41am  lydia announced 'I am drunk and I need to sit down'

1:47am  leaving the party so lydia can induce vomiting 

2:01am  made lydia toast, editing this in word on her laptop while she tells me about her first boyfriend

2:21am  lydia, coco, sen and i are sharing stories abt being drunk around parents, all of these stories are extremely bleak lol

2:23am  'when my parents divorced they got in an argument about how much champagne i could drink at my high school graduation', 'my dad won't tell me about his past until i'm thirty', etc

2:26am  lydia and i were going to return to the party but it doesn't seem like we are going to now (which is fine lol)

2:32am  remembered i took this picture of lily, lydia and riley, probably at ~1am

2:46am  going to make some like...pasta...or toast...or sum shit...idk...goodnight world....

2:50am  sen is describing someone as 'superman with two uzis' (lol)

2:53am  found this picture on my gf's twitter lol jesus