TWO POEMS

i wonder if i would be less depressed if i shaved my head

i like going to parties even though they make me feel lonesome

i feel bad and guilty about every single relationship i have ever had with a woman

is that natural?

i don't think it is natural

i feel obsessed with twitter in a way that isn't healthy, probably

i am afraid of addiction

these are things i am addicted to:

cigarettes

alcohol, i think

loneliness, maybe

i feel as though i may be "addicted to love" and am going 

through an intense withdrawal which has lasted ~1.5yrs

i sat in a coffee shop all day and did nothing but stare out the window at people walking 

by, feeling obsessed with how lonely they might be

i am obsessed with how lonely i might be

i talked to lydia via text message for an hour about gruesome deaths 

i thought "this is so fucked" and then emailed her links to websites memorializing children who died young with the note "this is so fucked, i think"

i met up with lexi and we went to her friend's house, where i had a boring time and felt old and useless

i feel bad and guilty about the way lexi feels about me

i think idly about the significance of the letter "L" in my life 

the letters "L" and "S" have the most significance in my life, i think

my mother's initials are "S.L."

i think "that is fucked"

i shoplifted three bottles of water today

water makes up 78% of the human body

i feel obsessed with water right now

i want to be alone, somewhere nice, consumed by my obsession with water, muttering 

"this is so fucked this is so fucked this is so fucked"

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs out of a helicopter with a machine gun

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs while screaming "haters, hate me more"

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs with a man named "the pig man"

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs and the pig man flew the helicopter

ted nugent shot 455 wild hogs and muttered "i'm the swine czar"

"he's the pig man. i'm the swine czar."

ted nugent went home and felt vaguely depressed

ted nugent got distracted by the internet

ted nugent googled "how do i access the deep web"

ted nugent googled "what are bitcoins"

ted nugent stared at twitter for 2 hours with a blank expression

ted nugent kept refreshing his twitter feed, but nothing ever changed

ted nugent tweeted "where is everyone"